Conflict Resolution is a very useful tool for you. Wherever choices are present there’s a risk of difference. Such issues, when handled effectively, can result in richer, more effective, innovative options. But sad to say, it is not easy to constantly turn differences into opportunities. When conflict is poorly taken care of, the end result can be contention. Contention results in a sense of psychological distance among people, including thoughts of hate, alienation, and disregard.

Anytime faced with problems, we tend to overview possible alternatives and come up with the finest solution presented with the data at hand. Unwanted options are thrown away. While some decisions may take consideration, analysis and even pain, we solve others almost naturally. Our finest solution becomes our position or stance in the issue. Our needs, questions and fears all play a role in identifying such a position. Misunderstanding and dissent grow their ugly heads when our solution is totally different from theirs.

Perhaps you have observed a violent agreement? It may really be humorous, as long as others, instead of you, are participating. As an example: A says, The new film won’t be around for at least 2 days. B says, “That’s silly! We won’t have it until next week!” There’s no conflict here, right? Probably, B was looking to hear a certain day, rather than an interval of days. Quite simply, B might possibly not have been listening cautiously. In this case, A might say, “Wait a minute, we’re saying the same thing, aren’t we?”

Other false conflicts could involve time, distances, or discharge levels. I could cite some other examples, but you get the point. Issues that appear to conflict may not conflict whenever you look more closely. Listen carefully to the other individual and be sure there really is a difference. If we come right out and tell someone that we disagree, we are prone to alienate the individual. However, if we put all our wants aside to concentrate on another person’s viewpoint, problems may also develop. The opposite party may think we have no needs and may then be taken aback when we present them all of a sudden.

To prevent such unproductive shock, I prefer the thought of saying something along these lines: “I see that we look at this issue from various perspectives. While I would like to discuss my needs and views with you later, let me first focus on your ideas and observations.” At this time we can put our needs aside, make an effort to truly listen, and say: “So, let me understand what your issues are relating to ….”

Conflict Resolution can display to you the best way to solve conflicts. That is the easy part. The difficulty comes in fulfilling our decision to actually listen. We must resist the inclination to interrupt with objections regardless of how unfounded many of the comments may seem. Nor can we, as we said earlier, fill our time composing the ideal comeback.

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